Foreign Affairs
by ckret2
Summary: As Orochimaru points out, fraternizing with a missingnin is strictly forbidden in Konoha. Naruto could hardly care less. [OroNaru, slash, oneshot.]


I think this was originally inspired by a prompt for a drabble community, but I don't remember the prompt or the community and this isn't a drabble. Anyway, I apologize if I make anyone's eyes bleed with the pairing. I tried to keep the characters as IC as possible considering the circumstances, but if I drift to far into OOC land, please let me know.

THE REQUIRED WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS: Slash, pedo, politics, Orochimaru's tongue, and, um, semi-cuddling. Kishimoto owns the characters and the original manga/anime. The author of this fic condones nothing in it. Really, I spent ages trying to find something in here I might condone. Nothing. (Except the pairing itself. It needs more ficcage.)

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Foreign Affairs

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"Fraternizing with a missing-nin is illegal, you know."

"Shut up. You came here first."

Orochimaru chuckled, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the open windowsill beside Naruto's bed. "That's because I care very little about the laws of Konoha."

"Until they involve me, right?" Naruto stifled a yawn and sat on the windowsill beside Orochimaru with his feet dangling outside, their left shoulders pressed together. He had gone to bed at one in the morning, it was almost four when Orochimaru had decided to drop by, and the mission the day before had been a killer. Literally. But that didn't mean that Naruto was about to sacrifice this opportunity just because he was a little sleepy.

"Of course," Orochimaru said. "I wouldn't want to jeopardize your chances of becoming Hokage just because someone saw you with me." His lips curled up in the slightest smile as he spoke. As always, Naruto wondered why Orochimaru really cared whether or not he became Hokage, and then decided he'd probably rather not know. Naruto knew what he'd do with the title, after all, whatever Orochimaru may be planning for him.

Naruto shivered in his pajamas as a breeze passed by the window, so he scooted over to lean against Orochimaru. "I don't think I'm fratriciding with a missing-nin, or whatever you said," he said, putting his head on Orochimaru's shoulder and shutting his eyes. Much warmer.

"This isn't fraternizing?" Orochimaru laughed derisively. "I would be honored to learn what it is, then." The tip of his tongue flicked across Naruto's cheek.

Naruto shivered again, this time not from the cold.

"Political strategy," he said. "If I keep you here like this, maybe you'll stay for good someday."

Orochimaru didn't reply for a moment. Naruto had learned a long time ago that trying to get him to talk before he was ready simply earned him the silent treatment for even longer; Orochimaru liked the silence. So Naruto just waited for him to speak.

Before he did, he wrapped his left arm across Naruto, letting his hand rest on his hip. That was just fine with Naruto. "You must realize by now that I'm not coming back. I haven't considered Konoha my home since before you were born."

"Thirteen years isn't that long," Naruto said.

"Really? Then I suppose, since you are thirteen, I could convince you to move to Otogakure?"

Naruto scowled. "That's different."

"I don't think it is."

Silence again. Naruto used it to put his own arm around Orochimaru; some things were more important than winning another argument. "Hey. Why do you want me to be Hokage so much if you don't care about Konoha, anyway?"

"I never claimed that I don't care about Konoha," Orochimaru said. "After all, I'm sure you care about Otogakure, in a way. What happens there affects what happens here."

"Fine, but why me? Why not someone else for Hokage?" Naruto asked.

"Because as long as anyone else is in charge of your village, I'll never be able to establish diplomatic relationships between it and Otogakure. You might say it's political strategy."

Naruto lifted his head to look at Orochimaru, to see if he was just making fun of him. Smirking, Orochimaru took advantage of the opportunity.

Jiraiya had told Naruto (well, not directly; Naruto had heard him say) that if someone uses their tongue in a kiss, it is guaranteed to be a long kiss; otherwise, there's no time to use the tongue properly. He had also said that all kisses involving tongue are very, very hot. Although Naruto couldn't say anything without risking getting in serious trouble – simply "fraternizing" with the missing-nin was probably the least of what they'd done together – he had evidence to prove Jiraiya wrong on both points. Orochimaru's kisses were quick and cold, with enough tongue that the first couple of months Naruto had gagged almost every time. It didn't bother him anymore.

When they were finished, they simply leaned against each other again without speaking, and even Naruto wasn't bothered by the silence. He realized after several minutes that he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care. His feet were freezing, his butt was going numb from sitting on the windowsill in a funny position, his brain was completely fried from exhaustion, and he couldn't have been happier.

They didn't get to meet like this nearly often enough. Once every couple of weeks, a little more when they were lucky, Orochimaru could get away from running his village and manage to sneak into Konoha. Naruto couldn't go to Otogakure because he never knew where it was and Orochimaru refused to tell him; he said that Naruto was more loyal to Konoha than to him, so he couldn't risk letting ANBU find out where Sound was hidden. Even so, Orochimaru had been nearly discovered at least five times while sneaking in. Naruto knew from the sirens that went off those nights. He had no idea how many other times Orochimaru had been almost caught.

It was a little after six in the morning when Orochimaru finally broke the silence. Naruto had dozed off against his shoulder, and was dismayed upon waking to discover that he couldn't even feel his butt anymore.

"We'll just have to see who gets what he wants," Orochimaru said. "Whether I establish diplomatic relationships first, or you manage to bring me back here."

It took Naruto a moment to remember what they were talking about. "Why can't we compromise?"

Orochimaru turned to look at Naruto. The sun was just starting to appear on the horizon, tingeing their skin bloody red. "This isn't the kind of thing with a middle ground," he said.

"Then we should make one," Naruto said firmly.

Orochimaru smiled crookedly. "How did I end up with an idealist?"

"The same way I ended up with a psycho."

"I suppose so. Though I prefer 'cynic'." Orochimaru slipped out of Naruto's embrace so he could crouch on the windowsill, his feet together and his knees apart. He wrapped his arms around Naruto, pulling him between his legs, and kissed him again.

This time, it was both long and hot, almost violent. Throwing his arms around Orochimaru's shoulders, Naruto counterattacked as well as he could until they both pulled away, short of breath.

"It's morning," Orochimaru managed to say, not yet letting go of Naruto.

Naruto nodded. "When can you..."

"Soon," Orochimaru said. "Next week?"

"Yeah."

A final, quick, cool kiss, and Orochimaru stood. For a moment he was silhouetted by the dim red light, and then he was gone.

Naruto shivered, suddenly chilled again. He crawled back into his bed, rubbing his numb rear (why was it his butt always hurt after Orochimaru visited even when they didn't do anything?), and pulled all the blankets over his head to try to retain the warmth he'd gotten from Orochimaru. He'd probably be asleep until noon and end up getting assigned to a crappy mission, but who cared?

If this was what fraternizing with a missing-nin felt like, Naruto thought as he fell asleep, then when he was Hokage he'd have to get rid of the laws against it.

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End

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A/N: Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Concrit especially. And if you feel like telling me that I will be going to hell or some similar place for writing this, feel free to let me know. It amuses me.


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